


Teaspoon :: Doctors' night out or a whole bucket full of crazy by finmagik

by skinsuit



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Cover Art, Crack Fic, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2018-01-02 04:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1052653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skinsuit/pseuds/skinsuit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The various incarnations of the Doctors meet up for a night on the town.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1.The ATM code spells R-O-S-E.
> 
> 2\. I'd like to give credit to Let'sgetmetaphysical for the artwork

 

 

 

 

 

Doctors' night out or a whole bucket full of crazy by finmagik

 

 **Summary:** The various incarnations of the Doctors meet up for a night on the town, in the village on Christopher street.  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Fourth Doctor, Fifth Doctor, Sixth Doctor, Eighth Doctor, Multi-Era  
 **Characters:** Donna Noble, Evelyn Smythe, Evelyn Smythe, Romana II, Romana II, Romana II, The Doctor (10th), The Doctor (4th), The Doctor (4th), The Doctor (5th), The Doctor (5th), The Doctor (6th), The Doctor (6th), The Doctor (8th), The Doctor (8th)  
 **Genres:** Humor, Slash  
 **Warnings:** Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** None  
 **Published:** 2008.05.24  
 **Updated:** 2008.05.25

 

 

 

 

Doctors' night out or a whole bucket full of crazy by finmagik

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:** 1.The ATM code spells R-O-S-E.  
2.The _The Good ship venus_ is a real song google it sometime!  
3\. Lollipop, Candyman is the song playing at the club and it is by Aqua.Listen to it on youtube.

* * *

  
Doctors’ night out or A whole bucket of crazy.

“Here we are, New York City!” the Doctor said as the TARDIS dematerialized.

He poked his head out of the TARDIS and smiled. Donna followed him reluctantly. They were surrounded by the greenery of Central Park and overhead, tall buildings loomed.

“What century are we in?” Donna asked.

“21th,” the Doctor said. “This year, this time.”

“Oh.” Donna sounded disappointed.

“Aw, come on, don’t be so glum, see the sights! The Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, Fifth Avenue, see the Met, take in a Broadway show, do some shopping!” the Doctor said, enthused.

“And what will you be doing?”asked Donna.

“Oh, this and that…” the Doctor said, shifting uncomfortably. “Meeting some old friends. Well, when I say friends I mean…Well, I guess you call them friends.”

“Oh, and why aren’t I invited?” asked Donna.

“It’s sort of a boys' night out,” the Doctor said. “You wouldn’t have any fun.”

“So you’re just taking off and leaving me in Manhattan?” said Donna.

“Just for a day,” the Doctor said. “Besides, I’m giving you this…” He handed Donna a plastic card.

“And what will I do with this?!" Donna asked.

“Put it in any ATM in the city, enter the code 7673, and you’ll get at least a thousand dollars. It also works as a credit card,” the Doctor said.

“Really?!” Donna exclaimed, her face breaking out into a wide smile. “That’s brilliant!”

“I know…!” the Doctor said. “See you later!”

And they went their separate ways. As soon as Donna was on her merry way, the Doctor pulled a small yellow paper card from his jacket pocket. It listed the name of a street and a bar in the village and today's date.. As soon as he was out of the park, he hailed a cab.

He soon arrived at the bar, swinging through the doors and eagerly looking around. They were at the bar, side by side. One of them wore a rather anachronistic green velvet suit. The other wore a very brightly colored vest made of Hawaiian shirts over a white shirt and yellow striped trousers. The Tenth Doctor walked up to them with a smile on his face.

“Fancy meeting me here! And me!” he said cheerfully.

“That joke wasn’t funny the first time you used it,” the Sixth Doctor said.

“I don’t know. I’ve always enjoyed it,” the Eighth Doctor said.

“Where are the rest?” asked the Tenth Doctor. “Aren’t there supposed to be more of us coming this time?”

“Yes, but you know Five. He probably, as Peri would say, ’Chickened out’ and Four is, well, Four…” the Sixth Doctor said.

It was then that the door of the bar opened, The Fourth Doctor strode in grinning widely, his scarf flying, arm in arm with Five, who had the good sense to look slightly embarrassed.

“Hello, chaps!” the Fourth Doctor said, striding up to the bar. “Look who I found wandering around the streets like a lost lamb.”

The Sixth Doctor smirked at that remark.

“Hello, everybody,” the Fifth Doctor said. “It really is lovely to see you, errm, or is it...?”

“Never mind, I had a hard enough time figuring it out myself,” the Eighth Doctor said.

“Aren’t there supposed to be more of us here? Where are the others?” asked the Tenth Doctor.

“Three is still stuck with a broken TARDIS at UNIT,” said the Fourth Doctor.

“Two is afraid Jamie would wander off in the city and get lost,” the Eighth Doctor said. “So he isn’t coming.”

“Seven,” the Sixth Doctor said, rolling his eyes expressively, “claims he has better things to do.”

“One said he was above all this silliness,” the Eight Doctor sighed.

“Nine is moping,” the Fourth Doctor said.

“What about Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen?” asked the Tenth Doctor.

“Eleven is currently stuck in a parallel universe,” said the Sixth Doctor. “Twelve is just an anti-social git, and Thirteen was busy.”

“Oh, too bad,” the Tenth Doctor said.

“Now let’s get this started, eh?” the Fourth Doctor said. “Drinks all around?”

The other Doctors nodded.

“Is absinthe legal here?” asked the Eighth Doctor.

“I don’t think they serve it in bars, old man,” said the Fourth Doctor.

“Ah, too bad.” The Eighth Doctor sighed. “Then I suppose I’ll have a Calvados and cream.”

“Since we’re in Manhattan, I’ll start with a Manhattan!” the Tenth Doctor said.

“I’ll have a Margarita,” the Sixth Doctor said and pointed at Five. “And he’ll have a gin & ginger.”

“What? I don’t drink---” Five began.

“All right,” Four said, grinning. “I’m getting a pint and a shot of whiskey for myself. Let’s see, Calvados and cream for the confused me, a Manhattan for the energetic me, a Margarita for the colorblind me, and gin & ginger for the cricket loving me.”

“But I don’t want a--” Five started.

“Yes, you do, you’ll be no fun if you don’t have anything in you,” the Sixth Doctor said.

The drinks came. The Eighth Doctor’s was in a snifter and he swirled it about. The Sixth Doctor’s had a little paper umbrella in it, which made him smile. The Tenth Doctor’s had a maraschino cherry in it that he plucked out and ate immediately. The Fourth Doctor had thoroughly confused the bartender by asking for a pint of bitter, but got what he wanted in the end. And the Fifth Doctor glared at his drink.

They all found a table in the back.

“I sent my companion on a shopping spree,” the Tenth Doctor said. “What are your companions up to?”

“Romana is reading Russian novels in the TARDIS,” the Fourth Doctor said.

“I don’t think I have a companion at the moment,” said the Eighth Doctor.

“Evelyn is visiting an old friend,” the Sixth Doctor said.

“I don’t know what Turlough is up to, but he said it was very important,” the Fifth Doctor said.

“Well, enough about them, we’re here to enjoy myself!” the Tenth Doctor exclaimed. He raised his glass. “To Time, Space and a whole bucket full of crazy!”

The other Doctors raised their glasses.

“To Time!” said the Eighth Doctor, his eyes lighting up.

“To Space!” said the Sixth.

“To---” the Fifth began and then frowned.

“A whole bucket full of crazy!” the Fourth Doctor exclaimed in his rich, full voice, blue eyes twinkling and a toothy smile breaking out.

They touched glasses and swallowed. Five took a sip, as did Eight. Four drained his shot glass with a grimace. Six and Ten both attempted to gulp down their respective drinks.

Six looked at Five and Eight and frowned. “Come on, you two, drink up!”

“This drink is made to be savored, not gulped,” Eight said.

“I didn’t even want my drink in the first place,” Five said.

“Drink up!” Ten said cheerfully.

“Show some balls!” Four said, the whiskey already affecting him.

Eight raised his snifter, gave it a swirl, and swallowed a mouthful.

Five rolled his eyes and sighed. “I have a feeling this is going to be a long night…” He raised his glass and took a swig.

Several rounds later….

“…AND THAT’S WHY I’M THE BEST OF ALL OF YOU!” Six shouted at Ten over his empty margarita glass.

“YOU? DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH, EVERYONE KNOWS I’M THE BEST!” Ten shouted back and took another swallow of his third Manhattan.

“Settle down, chaps, and have a jelly baby.“ Four said, calmly offering them a wrinkled paper bag from his pocket.

They both reached in the bag and took one, scowling. Chewing on the jelly babies, they looked at each other and began to laugh.

Eight woke up from his stupor and looked around. “Anyone notice anything strange about this bar? There are no women! Why are there no women?”

“Because we’re on Christopher Street,” said Six.

“Ah,” Eight said. “And why is that important?”

“Because--” Ten began.

“Has anyone seen Five?” Four asked.

They all looked at the spot where Five had been sitting. There were a bunch of empty glasses but no sign of the Fifth Doctor.

“He’s up at the bar, flirting with some burly guy with a mustache,” Ten said.

“I’d better stop him before he gets into real trouble.” Six sighed and unsteadily left the table.

“I’ve just figured out why there are no women here!” Eight said.

“Oh, do tell,” Four drawled.

A few minutes later, Six came back with Five following. Six was carrying five shot glasses with a clear liquid in them. Five was looking bemused.

“I don’t understand, I wassh jussth having a nice chat about cricket…” Five slurred.

“Here we go!” Six said, putting one shot before each Doctor.

“What are these?” asked Eight.

Ten sniffed his shot glass. “Tequila shots.” He sniffed again. “And good tequila, too. Patron?”

Six sat Five down before a glass and then sat down himself. He rubbed his hands together. "Bottoms up!”

Each Doctor took a shot glass in his hands and downed it. Ten, Five, and Eight all pulled sour faces.

Several shots later…

Five was singing: “On the good ship Venus, by Christ you should have seen us---C’mon. All of me know the words, sing!”

Six was staring blearily at all the empty glasses before him. Ten was grinning goofily and staring into space. Eight was looking very confused. And Four opened his mouth and joined Five in singing:

“---The figurehead was a whore in bed sucking a dead man’s---”

And then Ten sprang to his feet. “You know what we need?!”

“What?” asked the others with a sigh.

“Red bull & Vodkas. That’ll get us going again!” Ten exclaimed.

And he rushed off to the get the drinks. After a couple of those, the Doctors felt much perkier. Then Eight suggested mojitos and everyone agreed that a real mojito was too good to miss.

After the mojitos things settled down. Four was staring at Six and grinning. Six was staring back at Four from under his eyelashes. Five was passed out, snoring on the table. Ten was in a debate with Eight about which was the best way to reverse polarity of the neutron flow.

Six raised an eyebrow at Four. Four’s eyes popped out and he chuckled. Then he lunged across the table, grabbed Six by the face, and kissed him.

“Did I just kiss me?!” Six asked, looking shocked.

“ Ah, oh…yes,” Four said, smiling.

“Would you like to do it again?” Six asked.

“Of course!” Four said.

Six went over and sat on Four’s lap and they began making out.

Eight and Ten watched in puzzlement.

“Now, is this incest or masturbation?” Eight asked.

“I don’t know…” Ten said. “I’m deeply disturbed but…. fascinated.”

Five chose that moment to wake up. “I don’t know about you fellows, but if I don’t find the lavatory soon things are going to get rather messy.” And with that he took a step from his seat, fell to his knees, and vomited.

“My shoes!” cried Ten in anguish.

After they got kicked out of the bar, they wandered the darkened streets. Five was unconscious once again. Four was half dragging and half carrying him under his right arm. Six was strolling along looking disheveled but happy. Ten was skipping and Eight was confused once again.

“Thank Rassilon we can metabolize alcohol like that. It‘s good to sober up,” Ten said.

“All except poor Five,” Eight said.

“Well, someone gave him lots of ginger beer,” Ten said, giving a sidelong glance at Six.

Six rolled his eyes. “I had to, he’s about as fun as a dead trout when sober.”

“Now what, chaps?” asked Four.

“Well, if wasn’t for bloody caller I.D we could do some crank calls or if we had a car and a baseball bat and were in the suburbs…” Ten said.

“We’re Time Lords, surely you can think of something else!” Six said.

“Let’s go to a club!” Eight said.

“Fight club?” asked Ten.

“First rule, no one talks about Gallifreyan Fight Club!” Six said.

“No, I meant a dance club,” Eight said. “Like that one up ahead.”

And he ran on ahead of them.

The bouncer of the club glared at the motley crew before him. Only one of them was dressed for a club. Two were young and hot enough to get in the club, and one was clearly passed out.

“Let us in,” demanded Six.

“No,” said the bouncer.

“Be a good fellow and let us in,” Four said with a grin.

“Are you on the list?” asked the bouncer.

“Errr, uhhh… “ Eight began.

“We’re VIPs,” Ten said holding up his psychic paper.

The bouncer looked at the paper, nodded and let them pass.

The club boomed with a dance beat: _‘I AM THE CANDYMAN, COME IN FROM BOUNTY LAND!’_ The lights of the club dazzled and the dance floor was packed with bodies shimmying and moving.

Ten squealed. “They're playing Aqua, I love Aqua!” And he bounded out to the dance floor.

Six’s vest became as bright as a neon sign under the black light. “Well, I suppose I will ‘get down’ now.” And he strode off to the dance floor.

“Would you be so kind as to watch Five for me?” Four said, unloading Five onto Eight’s shoulder and walking off.

“Errm, thank you..?” Eight said.

He watched the others dance. Ten moved like was made of springs, Six surprisingly could dance, and Four had wrapped his scarf around a willing young man and was dancing awfully close.

Eight found a table and watched, sighing. He had really hoped to have a good time tonight, but with those three he should have known better.

Then Five stirred. “Where am I?” he asked blurrily.

“A dance club that plays nothing but Aqua,” Eight said.

“Oh,” Five said. “I suppose they are all out on the dance floor.”

“Yes,” Eight said. “Would you like to go out there?”

“No,” Five said.

“No doubt you’d prefer a good game of cricket,” Eight said, a smile curling his lips.

“Ah, I’m not just about cricket,” Five said. He looked around. “Turlough took me to a club like this once. I think I know how this is done…” And Five got to his feet and stepped up onto the table.

“Are you sure you’re sober?” asked Eight.

“Yes, quite sober,” Five said and stripped off his frock coat. “Please hold this for me, and this.” He took off his jumper. “And this.” He unbuttoned his shirt and removed it.

Now he was wearing nothing but his cream colored trousers and question mark braces. He began to move his hips, around and around and back and forth. Tentatively at first but then gaining more confidence, he moved with sinuous, erotic grace and ease, a natural table dancer.

Eight watched in amazement. He hadn’t remember how much he secretly enjoyed this but now it was coming back to him. Five looked down at Eight and offered his hand.

“Is that table big enough for both of us?” asked Eight.

“Just enough.” Five smiled.

Eight stripped off his velvet coat, tie, and shirt, then stepped up on the table and joined Five. They danced together, two smooth chested, beautiful Time Lords.

* * *

 

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=21955>

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The various incarnations of the Doctors meet up for a night on the town, in the village on Christopher street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Doctors' night out or a whole bucket full of crazy by finmagik

**Summary:** The various incarnations of the Doctors meet up for a night on the town, in the village on Christopher street.  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Fourth Doctor, Fifth Doctor, Sixth Doctor, Eighth Doctor, Multi-Era  
 **Characters:** Donna Noble, Evelyn Smythe, Evelyn Smythe, Romana II, Romana II, Romana II, The Doctor (10th), The Doctor (4th), The Doctor (4th), The Doctor (5th), The Doctor (5th), The Doctor (6th), The Doctor (6th), The Doctor (8th), The Doctor (8th)  
 **Genres:** Humor, Slash  
 **Warnings:** Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** None  
 **Published:** 2008.05.24  
 **Updated:** 2008.05.25

 

Doctors' night out or a whole bucket full of crazy by finmagik

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
After the club had closed for the night, the Doctors wandered the streets of the village. Four was grinning his wide, toothy madman’s grin. Six had his shirt half unbuttoned and was strolling along, occasionally shooting jealous looks behind him at Eight and Five.

Eight and Five walked together, arms slung over each other's shoulders, bare chests glistening with sweat, trouser tops bristling with dollar bills and phone numbers. They kept exchanging knowing looks.

Ten brought up the rear, pretending he was riding a horse. He also was sans shirt.

“Stop that!” Six called to Ten.

“I’ll dismount from my faithful steed, “ he said, grinning. He swung a leg off the invisible pretend horse. “Whoa, girl…steady on! Anyone got a lump of sugar?”

“There was an awful lot of powdered sugar in the bathroom,” said Four.

“That wasn’t powdered sugar, that was cocaine!” Six said.

“Cocaine? Cocaine? Where?” asked Ten, looking around.

“In the club bathroom,” sighed Six.

“I only did a line!” Ten said.

“WHAT?!” all of the other Doctors exclaimed. They stopped walking and turned to look at Ten.

Ten sniffed and his eyes darted around. “Oh, come on! We’re supposed to be partying tonight!”

“That doesn’t include dangerous substances,” Eight said, unlacing his arm from Five’s shoulder.

“Do you have any idea what effect that stuff might have on you? What were you thinking?” Five said.

“He wasn’t thinking,” Four said.

“I’ll agree with that,” Six added.

“Aw, come on, gimme a break!” Ten said and sniffed again.

They walked on in silence, each knowing they’d turn into Ten someday and each ruing that day. And then up ahead there was a shadow in the alleyway.

“Any of you gentleman fancy a ‘date'?” asked the figure in the shadows.

“No, I don’t think so--” said Four.

“Hang on, I know that voice,” Eight said softly.

The figure stepped out of the shadows. It had red hair and was dressed in a white, short, gym uniform.

“TURLOUGH?!” Five shouted.

“Doctor--?!” Turlough said.

“Just what have you been doing?!” Five asked.

“None of your business,” Turlough said.

“I think we all know what he’s been doing,” Six scoffed.

“You reek of sex,” Five said, disgusted.

“And what about you? You're missing half your clothing!” Turlough said.

“At least I didn’t spend the night--- prostituting myself! You know you could have gotten AIDS?! You could have given it to me!” Five exclaimed.

“I wouldn’t have to if you gave me some spending money!” Turlough whined.

“You want money?!” Five said. He plucked out a fistful of dollars from his waistband. “HERE!” He flung them at Turlough.

“I think… we should leave them to their row….” Eight said.

“Jolly good idea,” Four said.

And four of the Doctors sheepishly walked off as Five and Turlough's tempers grew more heated.

It was a few more streets and another alleyway before Eight stopped.

“This is where I say farewell,” Eight said. “It was so nice to see you fellows again.”

Ten gave Eight a hug. Four and Six both shook Eight’s hand. Then he walked into the alley and there was the click of a lock. Soon the other Doctors saw a flashing light and heard a distinctive grinding noise as Eight’s TARDIS took off.

Now there were three Doctors walking along. They took the subway back to the park.

Six was the first to find his TARDIS, hidden in a grove of trees. He went towards the door, but it opened before he could reach it.

Evelyn Smythe stood in the doorway of the TARDIS in her dressing gown and slippers, arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

“How was your friend?” Six asked sheepishly.

“So you’re finally back,” Evelyn said sourly.

“Evelyn, you knew I was going out for a good time,” Six said.

“What you forgot to tell me was that you’d be rolling home at this hour! Do you have any idea how late I’ve stayed up? Or how worried I was that something had happened to you?” Evelyn said.

“Evelyn….I just…” Six began.

“Well, you certainly had yourself a good time,” Evelyn snorted. “And you neglected to mention who your friends were. You know, I might like to meet your other incarnations myself sometime, but did you think of that? No, typical selfish behavior!”

Four and Ten, grinning, watched as Evelyn chewed Six out.

“But Evelyn, how did you figure out---?” Six began.

“Ours isn’t the only TARDIS in the park,” Evelyn said.

She opened the door further and Donna Noble walked outside, looking murderous.

“Oi, skinny, wipe that grin off your face!” Donna said.

The smile left Ten’s face immediately. “Donna, did you enjoy your shopping?” he asked.

“You see, Ms. Noble got lost and managed to find this TARDIS instead of her own,” Evelyn said. “We had a cup of tea and a nice chat while we were waiting for you.”

Six gulped; Ten looked down at his shoes.

“Evelyn…” Six began.

“Donna…” Ten started.

Donna stepped closer to the Tenth Doctor.“What happened to your shirt?!” she asked.

“Well… that’s a long story…” said Ten and gave a sniff.

“Why do you keep sniffing?!” Donna asked.

“Err…” Ten said. “Let’s discuss this on our TARDIS, shall we?”

“No, I want to know right now!” Donna said.

“Ididalineofcocaine…” Ten mumbled.

“You did WHAT?!” Donna exploded.

“Cocaine, coke, snow, blow, charlie…” Ten recited.

“Oh, you are in big trouble…” Donna said.  
She grabbed Ten by the ear.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow…” Ten said as she dragged him away.

Six looked at Evelyn. “I didn’t do any cocaine,” he said proudly.

“That's as may be, but you reek of booze and you look quite a sight,” Evelyn said.

Six stepped into his TARDIS, sighing.

“Well, I’ll be off,” Four said with a chuckle “Good night!”

Alone, Four strolled through the city until he came to an abandoned hotel about to be torn down. He climbed through a hole in the fence, went into the building, and entered the lobby. There stood his TARDIS. He opened the door and stepped inside. He soon found Romana in her room, lying on the bed with a book in her hands. She looked up when he entered.

“So how was your night of debauchery?” she asked casually.

“All right,” Four said. “Not a patch on the time we went to the Moulin Rouge, though.”

* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=21955>


End file.
